一孔录子曰：事父母几谏，见志不从，又敬不违，劳而不怨。The Master said: In serving your parents, remonstrate gently. If you see they will not follow, remain respectful and do not oppose them; labour on without resentment.
Tap any sentence of the original to copy it with its source.
白Plain Chinese
孔子说：侍奉父母，他们有不对的地方，要委婉地劝。看到他们心里不愿听从，仍旧恭敬，不去违逆；操劳忧心，也不怨恨。
A plain modern-Chinese rendering following Yikonglu's reading.
常The common reading
Read as “obey one's parents”, taking “do not oppose” as “do not disagree”.
注Key words in the commentary
Ji (几) read jī, slight. Zhu Xi cites the Neize: “父母有过，下气怡色，柔声以谏” — when parents err, lower one's breath, soften one's face, and remonstrate in a gentle voice; “谏若不入，起敬起孝，悦则复谏” — if the remonstrance does not enter, redouble respect and filial care, and when they are pleased, remonstrate again; “与其得罪于乡党州闾，宁孰谏” — rather than let them offend the whole neighbourhood, remonstrate thoroughly.
家What other commentators say
(This episode gives only Zhu Xi and the Neize.)
读How Yikonglu reads it
Not silence, but a low voice; if it does not get through, do not turn hostile, but try again another time. The Neize line “挞之流血不敢疾怨” (even if beaten till one bleeds, dare not resent) is an ancient ritual demand, and the video says plainly that it is not to be copied today. Today: a parent forwards a fake advert to the family group; one child replies “fake again”, another phones privately and explains slowly.
家Other commentaries
Our base text is Zhu Xi's Collected Commentaries (above). Here are other commentaries side by side: for old commentaries, the first line of the sub-commentary with a link to the woodblock scan; for modern editions, one short quoted translation for comparison. The “compared with Zhu Xi” notes are written by Yikonglu, not quoted.
皇侃《论语义疏》Liang dynasty · Zhibuzu Zhai edition · juan 二
“此并下四章皆明孝也。”……
Compared with Zhu Xi
| Commentary | Point | Relation | Confidence | Note |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 杨伯峻《论语译注》 | 劳 | word sense | settled | 杨释忧愁，朱联系父母不悦甚至责打仍不起怨；几均为微婉，不违均不等于停止劝谏。 |
| 钱穆《论语新解》 | same | fairly sure | 同以几为微、父母不从仍敬而复谏。钱把见志解释为子女微表己志，并以劳为忧，朱依内则重谏不入乃再谏及遭责不怨。 |
核Check every citation
Every commentary line quoted in the video: the original wording, who said it, and the page in the base edition. “Paraphrase” marks our summary, not the commentator's words. About this edition
| Quoted text | Source | Page |
|---|---|---|
| “此章与内则之言相表里。几，微也。微谏，所谓父母有过，下气怡色，柔声以谏也” | Zhu Xi's commentary | page 58 |
| “见志不从，又敬不违，所谓谏若不入，起敬起孝，悦则复谏也” | Zhu Xi's commentary | page 58 |
| “劳而不怨，所谓与其得罪于乡党州闾，宁孰谏。父母怒不悦，而挞之流血，不敢疾怨，起敬起孝也” | 朱注（引《内则》） | page 58 |
音Pronunciation
| Character | In the line | Read as |
|---|---|---|
| 几 | 几谏 | jī |
页Pages of the base edition
Yikonglu, Analects Li ren (Book 4) 4.18 “In serving parents, remonstrate gently”, https://yikonglu.com/en/lunyu/li-ren/18.html, version 2026-11-04.Last checked: 2026-11-04. Changes are logged on theerrata page.
Found an error in this chapter? Email us; once checked, it goes on the errata page under your username: 
