阳货第十七 · chapter 21 · not yet coveredThree years of mourning — a year is already long enough

宰我問：三年之喪，期已久矣。君子三年不為禮，禮必壞；三年不為樂，樂必崩。舊穀既沒，新穀既升，鑽燧改火，期可已矣。子曰：食夫稻，衣夫錦，於女安乎？曰：安。女安則為之！夫君子之居喪，食旨不甘，聞樂不樂，居處不安，故不為也。今女安，則為之！宰我出。子曰：予之不仁也！子生三年，然後免於父母之懷。夫三年之喪，天下之通喪也。予也有三年之愛於其父母乎？

Zai Wo asked: Three years of mourning — a year is already long enough. If a gentleman does not practice ritual for three years, ritual will surely decay; if he does not practice music for three years, music will surely collapse. The old grain is used up, the new grain has risen, the fire-drilling woods have gone round — a year should be enough. The Master said: Eating that rice and wearing that brocade — would you be at ease? He said: I would. If you would be at ease, then do it! When a gentleman is in mourning, fine food has no taste, music gives no joy, and his home gives no comfort, so he does not do these things. Now if you are at ease, then do it! Zai Wo went out. The Master said: How inhumane Yu is! A child is three years old before it leaves its parents' arms. Three years of mourning is the mourning common to all under Heaven. Did Yu not have three years of love from his parents?